With a two day rain that interfered it took three days for the workers to trim the pecan tree. It really was a very large tree. It shaded both mine and the neighbor’s yards. Plus it produced bushels of nice large pecans. We can be patient and wait till it dresses its self with nice green cloths again. It will be modeling a new spring look before long. My apple tree in the back yard could use the same undertaking, but not this year. Trees are nice to have, but they require a lot of expensive work. Just like the lawns require a lot of mowing and watering, plus trimming the sidewalk edges. My son, Rick, who is coming to live with me will be the yard person this year. We had it hired done last year. Even then I still had a lot to do myself. No matter how much I stay busy it doesn’t stop the tears from flowing since I had to give up my husband. I keep him in my presence all the time. Surly some day I can be free from this awful grief. I share lunches three times a week with men and women who are grieving like me. We are all trying to forget, but somehow the mind just won’t let go. I am ashamed of my selfishness. I try hard to hide my true feelings, but sometimes I unwind anyway. I thank God for the many years we had together.
The mornings always brings me good cheer, but I hate going to bed and waiting for them to arrive. Sleep just doesn’t want to help me. I have to fight for it. I have always heard that time would heal, but I am convinced that’s not true. Time just helps to endure. I really think that is a good thing, because nothing could ever take the place of a wonderful relationship we had with our loved ones. We can cherish that feeling forever. I do not know about the next life. Many ideas have been expressed about life after death, but I am not concerned about that. I am positive that my heavenly Father will take care of me. I trust Him with all my heart. I do believe He wants us to continue to work for Him until He calls for us. That is what I intend to do. I humbly seek His will daily. It is only by faith that I do the things I do in His name. I know the Word says that faith without works is dead, so I am putting legs to my faith each day. Our labor may not always be paid in cash, but never doubt it will be paid it time. We are assured of enough to live comfortably with. I can claim that blessing every day. I am thankful for my strength that lets me do about anything I want to. I must use it or lose it. I will use it by God’s help. My prayers are for you tonight.
God Bless
Myrtle Jean Sharp
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