It's a lovely day today in
Perryton, TX. I chose to cook steaks on the grill for dinner tonight.
I enjoyed sitting out while the steaks cooked slowly on the grill. I
plan to have baked potatoes, and salad to go with them. I emptied an
inch of rain out of the rain gauge that had collected over a few
days. The ground is wet, and things are growing by leaps and bounds.
I would like to run away from all the work I need to do in my yard,
but I can't do that. I work by moods any more, and the moods don't
come as often as they used to. However, they will come sooner or
later.
This Saturday has been
spent goofing off. Not much work accomplished, but I called my sister
in Oklahoma City and told her I needed to get away for a few days. I
felt like I was in a rut, and needed my two sisters to meet me in
Clinton, for a refreshing of my, get up and go thing. She agreed with
me, and we are planning to meet next week-end. That's going to be the
longest week I've spent in a long time. I am ready to go now, but
that's not possible. The way my mood changes I may not even want to
go by next week-end. I am fast becoming an impossible misfit. I think
I understand how children born without any brothers, or sisters feel.
It just isn't fair for them to be raised all alone. For six years I
have been all alone, and it's a horrible life to have to live.
I feel so proud of myself
anymore at just running the sweeper over part of my house at a time.
There is nothing physically wrong with me, but I just don't want to
do my work. Little by little I keep the place livable, but it sure
isn't any fun. I am sorry to have to say, but I get friend request on
face book a lot from what I believe is nice men, but since I don't
know them I will not accept their request. The world is too full of
evil anymore to trust anyone much, even some you do know sometimes
turn out to be deceivers. I have to wonder how God puts up with it. I
will never give up on finding that true one fellow who will fill in
the loneliness that I am left with. I may never find him, but I will
keep trying. All my lady friends are just like me, lonely widows, but
too afraid to change it. God help us to find friendship with both
male, and female sweeties. We all need that balance, because God made
us that way. If my sweet brother were still alive he would make up
for everything my husband took away from me when he passed into his
next life. I was grieving happily for six months until my brother
suddenly was told he had four weeks to live because of cancer that
had spread through his body. He had no idea, and was having such a
happy life. Oh well God knows best, and does all things well.
God Bless
Myrtle Jean Sharp
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