"I Need To Sing A Song"

“I Need To Sing A song” I stayed home from the Center today, and worked around here. Trying to get ready for a lot of company in a few days when Rick will be brought here for burial. I did make a quick trip to Liberal to get something for Chuck. I have had a few grief attacks today, but it is getting better. However, it seems like I can't take a breath without recalling a sweet memory about son, Rick. It's almost like he is still living here although, he has been gone from this house since he graduated from high school except for visits, and the one year he stayed with me after I lost his dad, and my husband. During that time we were both a comforter to each other. That's been five years ago, but we talked on the phone almost every week. His two daughters lived in Houston, and he went back there to be close to them since he had come down with health problems. Also the doctors he was going to here was in Amarillo which was 250 miles round trip. Yes, these last five years have taken a toll on me with now being the worst part of all of it. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me, but I know who holds tomorrow. I did talk with an old friend this morning for about an hour. She lives in Oklahoma City. Her, and my children were raised up in the same church, and she had lost her husband about the time I lost mine. A couple of years ago she lost a son in an automobile accident, so we are both sharing the same kind of grief. It was a great comfort. Thank God for friends who never leave you. Her children are as close to her as mine are to me. We both have that same joy to share also. Oh! How I wish the churches were the same today as they were back then. God is the same so we only have to worry about keeping ourselves the same. I feel positive about bouncing back after we have put my son next to his father. Until then, and I don't know how long, because of the Covid they tell us, but the sooner the better. There was a process that had to be fulfilled since his body was found by a son-in-law, that the state requires, We are not sure how long he had been lying there face down on the floor. The son-in-law had gone to get him for a doctor's appointment when he found him. Why it had to happen that way I don't know, but I trust God it was His way. Thank you everyone for being patient with me. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"Emotions Are Part Of The Healing Process"

“Emotions Are Part Of The Healing Process” Today I sit here at the computer with a blank mind, trying to decide what is wrong with me. I know I have a son waiting to be buried somewhere, but how could that be causing me to be so calm at times then all at once I yell out like a scared child looking for a parent. I think I am looking for Rick as he was so much help to me after my husband died. He retired and stayed with me for a year. My house is the one Rick was mostly raised in, and he loved being here, after living in Houston, Texas most of the rest of his life after high school graduation. He would sit in the swing on the patio for hours at a time just resting. He would tell me he loved sitting out there because it was so peaceful. Now every time I look out there I burst out like I am having a nightmare. Just never though it would effect me like that. I am fine most of the time, it's just off and on through the day. We are waiting for a release for his body from the medical examiners then we can put him away. Not sure how long that will take. I have had so much kindness, and sympathy shown to me, and it has helped, but it seems like nothing can heal the terrible grief. I know I can get through this, but it will take time. He is just another one that's been added to my long list of loved ones whom I grieve for daily. I am still encouraging everyone to hold onto their faith in God. He promised to never leave us. I am at complete peace at this moment, and plan to go to the luncheon at The Center tomorrow. This will soon all be over, and I can move forward with everything I am used to doing. Life is a battle from birth to the grave, but The Good Lord planned it that way. I trust Him that He knew what He was doing. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"A Genus He Was To Me"

A Genus He Was To Me” I can't tell you all how much I appreciate all the kind, and loving words you said to me today after the loss of my loving son, Rick Sharp. It has been very hard to bear, but so many have helped me stay positive. Life is hard, and the older you get the harder it gets. But King Solomon told us to enjoy as long as we can because we will be dead a lot longer than we lived. I don't exactly know what he meant about that, but I believe him. I refused to stay home from lunch at the Center today, and just cry. I went and although I was a bit quieter than usual, I still made plenty of noise. So thankful for sweet friends who are always there for you. I do feel a bit rum dumb, and have to start talking o Jesus to get me back on track. He is so quick to guide me back. He tells me I am not suppose to understand everything, and to just keep trusting Him. Who would dare to ever argue with that? It's like I did some things today that I said yesterday I would never do. That is when I began to feel much better from my grief. Many hurtful past memories begins to fade away. It's hard to keep them from coming back, but we must not let them return. No grudges can ever enter heaven, and I'm glad for that. When I start thinking like this I almost go to sleep before I'm finished with my blog. Too relaxing for the mind to operate freely. I'm waiting now for closure to my son's death. This will be a delayed burial since his body was found some time after his death. A normal procedure that always follows a situation like that requires an investigation. Another hard thing to go through. I need it to be over with as soon as possible. By faith I will not faint. God has definitely directed me how, and what to do. Something I had sworn off of, but now I will follow His directions. I'm so thankful because there would never have been closure had I done it my way. Nothing is concrete yet, but praying that nothing will hinder what we have planed so far. My God, my God, help me get over this. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"Lets Talk Wisdom Versus Confusion"

“Lets Talk Wisdom Versus Confusion” It's always nice to go to the Center and learn of things that interest you .Some bad news, but it's really good to hear about it. One of our members who does a lot of work for the Center now has a son who is in an Oklahoma City hospital with the Covid 19 virus. He had a lung to collapse, and was sent to a special hospital for more serious cases. We are sorry, but needed to know so we could keep him in our prayers. We heard some other news that was better, and we rejoice over that. It takes a little effort, and a little scolding from myself to get me going instead of staying in my recliner, but once I'm convinced that it's necessary to go, I am always glad I did. It takes a wise mind to know which things I need to do today is the most important. I can never do them all. My body just won't allow it. I did hear one thing today from a guy who I never talk to except to say hello, something that I can't wait till next lunch day to tell my friends. It's a bit nasty, but funny anyway. He and I met at the dish drop-off when leaving the Center. Got to appreciate these quick-draw friends sometimes. They shoot pretty straight, and it's best to have a comment ready. I won this one, but not anxious to compete again. I know its hard to laugh when so many people are hurting, but if I understand King Solomon correctly He says in so many words, what will be will be. I feel the need to print the verses 7-10 of Ecclesiastes chapter 9. Go ahead---eat your food and be happy; drink your wine and be cheerful. It's alright with God. Always look happy and cheerful. Enjoy life with the woman you love, as long as you live the useless life that God has given you in this world. Enjoy every useless day of it, because that is all you will get for all your trouble. Work hard at whatever you do, because there will be no actions, no thought, no knowledge, no wisdom in the world of the dead---and that is where you are going. These words were taken from the Good News Bible.. Today's English Version. I compared them to the King James Version, and the meaning is the same, just worded a little differently. King Solomon is calling the word vanity, a useless life. I am forever confused, but because I live by my own interpretation trusting that God is directing me, I will not change anything about my life. I do find myself finding reasons for all things that happen in peoples life. I do believe that all people were born with an already planned life, but that also confuses me. I understand that we are now living under grace instead of the law, but why did Jesus say,” I came not to do away with the law, but that the law through Me might be fulfilled? I suggest that we talk with God every day to help us with our understanding of His Word. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"Are We Really Who We Think We Are"

“Are We Really Who We Think We Are” Praising God for a good service at church this morning. A new family joined us, and they were such a blessing. It was nice to see the pews filling up again. People are searching like never before trying to find a secure place to worship. The pastor certainly had a sermon prepared this morning that should help anyone to feel safe, and secure from all alarms. No matter if we stay home, hide in the bushes, go to church or whatever, our life is in danger of the wicked enemy of Jesus Christ. He has found a weakness in the Christian believers that has let him take over by great multitudes. Only by the power of God, with believers there of, will any place be safe ever again. Let each one of us band together, and be a power tool to keep this wicked enemy at bay. My friends there is no other way. Can you not see that the only way this evil enemy got in power was because God allowed it? Why?? Could it be punishment for those who refused to respect God? Maybe from grudges that some would not let go? Maybe from jealousy from some who thought they were better? How about pay back from some who were embarrassed by the very one whom they had labeled as never, never my President? Could that one have put then in their place, and they were not able to forgive, because of so much self admiration? Could they have done the worst sin ever by taking back power in whatever way possible? Could they have believed that God's Word is fake when He said “God is not mocked for what so ever a man soweth that shall he also reap?” Could reaping time be in order at this very time? You guessed it. I believe all of the above is why we are in such danger of our own lives being taken most anytime. But to the righteous God speaks these words. Hebrews 10:38. “My righteous people however, will believe, and live. But if any of them turns back, I will not be pleased with them.” v. 39, We are not people who turn back and are lost. Instead, we have faith and are saved. I do not write these words for myself because I am old enough to die by natural causes any day. But I hope to leave behind a map of what could be a help to the younger people. I believe that is what all Christian believers are suppose to do. I choose not to be alone during these stressful times, because it has always been a tradition for believers to have fellowship, and be a supporter of each other. Any other way seems like selfishness to me. Fear of not being agreed with. If one is really that sure of themselves then why are they still here? God does not need anyone who is not of any purpose except to kill time. I am trying hard to keep myself active in as many ways as possible for the good of others. I trust God is pleased with that kind of attitude. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"Mourning Is A Gift Of God"

“Mourning Is A Gift Of God” My thoughts today are focused on people less fortunate than myself. The Afghanistan crisis is a positive sign that Bible prophesy is being fulfilled, and what else can we make of it but to say we all are victims of perilous times. The entire world belongs to God, the Creator, and only He is in control. At His command will everything happen whether good, or bad. Every liar, and deceiver, and those who were so naive as to believe them will suffer more than what they've made the Christians suffer. King Solomon said in Proverbs chapter 7, verse 1. A good reputation is better than expensive perfume, and the day you die is better than the day you were born. How does our reputation register with God? Does it compare with expensive perfume? I wish I could say yes, but I fear it might compare more to body odor from a dirty body. I don't know what God thinks about my reputation, but I do know He answers my prayers every day. Not that I can boast about, but what I can praise Him about. It is in this frame of mind that I can live on from day to day, long after most of my older family members lived. Some of whom I thought was almost perfect. I don't know what that means, but I am pleased with it. As long as I can be active, and help spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ I am being blessed. I have faith to believe God will not put me through unnecessary suffering. However, if I should have a lingered death bed, I will say it was necessary for some unknown reason. Both of my parents had a quick death bed, and I am so thankful for that, Neither of them ever entered a nursing home, or became dependent upon anyone. My grandparents on my mother's side were just as independent. A quick death may not always be pleasant, but little pain is always a blessing. I hear, and know without a doubt that many Christians in Afghanistan as well as other places are suffering terribly, and we will never understand why, but we can continue to pray for them which I believe helps a lot. Some may wonder why I'm focusing on death. Well here is one reason. I believe some people live like they think they will live forever. I try to gain wisdom from such wise men like King Solomon. This wise King told us in Proverbs chapter 7, verse 4. Someone who is always thinking about happiness is a fool. A wise person thinks about death. I think if more people would think more about being judged for their sins, they would commit a lot less of them. It's nice to have been taught this as a child growing up. I didn't grow up in the dark. I am one thankful sinner saved by grace. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp

"What I Really Think"

“What I Really Think” I got an impression today of what I believe will soon be the norm in my small town. We have always had a quite, low rate, crime record in Perryton, Texas. That's because our law enforcement is so strict with keeping order, and even the Cities code of ethics. I personally cannot remember ever seeing a beggar in this city, or even on the outskirts. Today when I came out of the Dollar General Store I saw a guy running across the parking lot trying to catch me before I got to my car. This guy was the freakish person I had ever seen in person. He was wearing only a pair of shorts, no shirt or shoes. His body was a solid tattoo. His entire chest was covered with black tattoos. Also his face, arms, and legs. It was 93 degree, and this guy was barefooted on the blacktop parking lot. He caught me before I got to my car, and asked me for a dollar. I have never given money to beggars before when I would see them in other cities. But since things have gotten so evil all over the world, I have taken a closer look at my Christian life. I did not want to lie to the freak, and tell him I didn't have any money, and besides from what I'm hearing on the news every day people are getting shot at the least little things. I did say let me see if I have a dollar. I gave him one dollar, and he walked away. Now someone asked me if I called the police. But this guy stood out like something from outer space. The parking lot at Dollar General was almost empty, and no way could a policeman have missed seeing him. I did not call them, because I felt too confused to get more involved. I am reading the book of Proverbs, and I'm now to the seventh chapter. I have been shaken by the most impressed meaning of those six chapters. The highlight has got to be about giving to the poor. I refuse to judge that pitiful looking soul after so many years I have judged just such souls. What has happened to me? Am I one of those who have been chosen to stand the test of my Lord, and Savior, Jesus Christ? Will I even deny Him like Peter did after the pressure was put on Peter? I feel so positive that our little city of Perryton will become one of the same evil cities like so many others. The huge, modern, 15 million dollar jail building will probably never be needed, because our justice system is fading fast. I cannot ignore what I'm seeing every day in this sin-sick world. All I can say is I am trusting in my God, and whatever happens, I will surly be strong enough to endure. God Bless Myrtle Jean Sharp