I'm so happy now to see my
roses starting to bloom. They make my attitude sound much better. I
was beginning to think about watering the wild flowers like
dandelions maybe, if I didn't get some pretty faces showing up soon.
Then all at once I have roses blooming everywhere. I've got the
flower fever now, and just came inside from preparing a small flower
bed to sow some seed. I found a package of seeds I had saved from
last year, have no idea what they are, I put them in water to soak
before I plant them. I'm thinking about breaking down from my
announcement earlier saying I was not going to buy one plant this
year or plant a flower seed. The addiction came back like “I've got
to do it.” I think it has something to do with my prayer when I
asked God to give me peace over possibly losing our great country. I
almost have faith now to move a mountain, even though this morning I
became so upset over something I heard that I couldn't believe. I
felt locked out from a place I had planned to spend the rest of my,
“freedom of worship,” life. I now know it was just a waste of
time, and effort to think that. Cancer has spread too far in that
place to ever recover. Sadly I said good-bye, and asked God to heal
my grieving heart. Some things in life we just have to let go, and it
seems to be getting more numerous all the time. It seems like I never
know from one day to the next just how God will use. One thing I know
for sure He is using me, and I pray I will be faithful to Him. That
includes when I do not understand why things happen like they do.
This afternoon a wave of joy hit me, and I feel like I can withstand another great disappointment, as I know there are many yet to come, The roses in my yard are beautiful now, but they will be leaving in a few months. My joy is wonderful now, but it will also be gone when God changes the course. Not that it won't come back, but in the mean time I must trust, and obey. Why is it that in a matter of hours things can change from an anxiously “looking forward” feeling to a “forget it feeling?” I think it takes that positive, “listen to Me? “feeling before we hear. I still stand in wonder as to how so many people have deaf ears to what is happening all around them. Christian, and non Christians, are both guilty of that. I have to believe those people are numb to the Holy Spirit even though some are standing in the places of God's Holy Ground. Many leave this world without ever knowing their mistakes. Another sad, but true fact. Keep praying my friend.
Myrtle Jean Sharp
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