May I have your blessing
dear friends, while I write a very sad story. I don't like to write
painful blogs, but sometimes we feel the need to do so. I had to say
good-bye last evening to a dear friend who came to tell me that she
would be leaving this morning to go back to the place she left three
months ago to move back to Perryton. She left Perryton seven years
ago because she felt sure God was calling her to a certain place in
southern Oklahoma to work in a television ministry. She was in her
early seventies, and retired. She has had a life time of depression,
and after retiring she felt she must give the rest of her life to the
work of God. This friend is so hard to try to describe. She was a
hard worker, quick to catch onto things that involved her work, was
above average in turning out a full work load each day, seemingly was
very intelligent, had managed to accumulate a hefty amount of money,
and believed in God with all her heart, She said she had been healed
many times. But she lacked the most important thing in life. Refusal
to have close friends. While she was friendly enough, she never
wanted to be close to anyone, even her own family, whom she loved
dearly. She was divorced from her first husband at his desire after
being married to him for 23 years. She had two children by him, and
although she told me terrible things about that husband, she said she
worshipped him.
She remarried but said she never loved that husband, although she lived with him 22 years until his death. She moved to Perryton shortly after his death, and she came into my antique shop one day asking for some information on an old painting she had. She was friendly, but as was her life style, she had little to say. It took a few years, and I really don't know how it happened, but she did get attached to me. She started sharing her life's story with me, and I was astounded at some of the personal things she told me. I'm sure everyone has a life story that was not always bright, but this was the saddest I had ever heard. She said the only reason she had not taken her life years ago was because she was afraid God would not forgive her. But she had always prayed for God to take her life.
When she told me God was calling her to work in this pray ministry helping people who were basically in the same condition as she, I had to be skeptical. She did get the job, and it lasted awhile, but then she was not working there anymore she told me later. I had known her about 13 years before she moved away. She came back to Perryton about two years ago to be close to her daughter who lives here. She felt very lonely, and depressed where she had been living. The two months she was here didn't work out, so she went back to that ghost place. Two years later her daughter rented her an apartment again here in Perryton, helped her furnish it nicely, and moved her out here. This friend kept her apartment where she had been living just in case she wanted to move back. She did the same thing the first time she came back. Now after three months she left to go back to the place where most likely she will die all alone, she told me last evening. She said that's what she wants. She also said she didn't expect to see her daughter again.
I saw this little yellow
rosebud this morning, and I had to think about my rose friend who
has never bloomed out. May God bless her.
God Bless
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