What a disappointing
surprise I got this morning. Last night I got my rag rug out of a
closet that had been stored in a large plastic bin with a tight lid.
I had not finished this rug because I had no use for it at the time,
and I had run out of fabric. It had been stored about ten years. I
have recently been redecorating two bedrooms for Chuck. Yesterday I
remembered about the unfinished rug, and was so excited to get it out
and finish it. I laid it down on the floor to study while I prepared
a lot of strips of rags to start working with. I worked for two hours
last night getting a lot of material ready to start crocheting this
morning. I worked another two hours after I had breakfast, and had
part of the third point finished when I discovered some lose strings
in the circle. Upon further examining It was obvious that moths had
damaged the rug, but they did such a good job you could not tell
anything was wrong at all. I had to start picking at the tiny strange
little places before I realized the entire rug was shredded. I had
handled the rug for four hours while working on it, and had not a
clue that it was ruined. I have never had anything like this to
happen before. I don't remember ever having anything moth eaten
before. And it possible could be that the part that was damaged was
material with limits to it's life. But it still caused the entire rug
to come apart when handled much. I was making the round part into a
square, and couldn't wait to get it finished. It is going to be so
hard for me to throw hundreds of hours of back-breaking work into the
dumpster, especially since I had made sure every piece of cloth I put
in it was clean. I had a vision of how perfect this large rug would
look in the bedroom where I planned to put it. I already had some
other furnishings with an old-look history to accompany it. My heart
is broken, and I have forgotten to watch the terrible news about our
moth-eaten country. What will be the next chapter to my life? I wish
I knew.
So now I guess I will began to finish some more things I have started, but for some reason had stopped. I just must make myself finish things I start from now on out. I am so very good at quitting before I finish, I think it's kinda like loosing your first love, and having to live with the feeling of failure. If I start a project from now on I will finish it regardless of what I think about it after I'm finished. I must learn to keep my busy mind on delivering the goods, instead of coming up with so many new Ideas. I probably will wait and let my kids take my rug to the landfill after I'm gone. They will have a lot of stuff to haul along with it. I just have always been a lover of things that most people would have disposed of years ago. I have so many cleaning rags you wouldn't believe, but I always have to hunt for one when I need them. That is the me that I don't know.
God Bless
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