"Confused But Not Crazy"

For those who haven't seen this portrait of me I  painted almost 2 years ago. 10-29-2018 Perryton, TX

I posted this portrait of me that I painted nearly two years ago, but several have said they didn't see it so here it is again. I was 83 at the time. I hope to paint a later one of me before I leave this world, but not sure about that. I haven't had my paints out in over a year. I've been too involved in politics. I do want to start again, but just keep putting it off. One of these mornings I will wake up, and just like that I will spread out my plastic sheet, put up my easel, and put the magic touch to my brush. With me it's more about dreaming than reality, except for portraits. I do want my portraits to be recognizable with a lot of personality making them real. No cheating, just the honest to goodness truth.

Today has been a fun day at the Center. I hadn't laughed so much in years. One of our special lady friends said something that caused the laughter to shake the house. I cannot put it in words, because most people wouldn't understand. No one but this certain humorous gal could have gotten away with it. I am still laughing. We talked about the way we plan to dress for the Halloween party coming Wednesday. That is if we don't back out. We will see who has the nerve, and who don't. This will also be a day for a bake sale, fund raiser. I will make a pecan pie.

I'm wondering why it is that some days one cannot get a certain person off their mind that has passed from this life. It's not always someone you were close to particularly, but had spent time with in various ways. Certain words you remember hearing them say years ago, just keep coming back. Words of no real sound meaning, but yet they keep flashing back. It makes one think about the times both of you were together. There is just something about life that remains a mystery. I treasure these kinds of acquaintances, but the same goes for awful things I recall people of doing. I do not want to remember those bad things, but they too keep flashing back. It's like I have a built-in-hate for them. I know that is not right, but how do I control such memories. Then there are things that happen that I know but little about, sometimes resulting in deaths that seem unfair. But why do I wonder if God was having His way in situations like this, when I read His word that says all sin and disobedience to Him will be punished. Are there hidden things to man's eyes sometimes, that only God sees? I fully confess that I do not understand the works of God, nor do I believe anyone else does. We pray for guidance, and hope for more understanding, and that's all we can do. 

God Bless

Myrtle Jean Sharp