Everyone has a different idea about Christmas decorating, but I, being an artist, have some pretty unusual imaginations. The little tree I posted is simply green in daylight, but in the dark it turns sapphire blue. The camera managed to capture the deep blue color while darkness was covering the tree. This tree is like a jewel to me, and since my mother’s name was Jewel, I call the tree mom’s special place in my house at Christmas. I love the memories I have of her, and I long to see her again. Sometimes I wonder why we are put on this earthly planet, learn to live, and love it so much, then after a few days be taken away to we know not where. It is in these times of wonderment that we feel depressed, and have little faith. God never leaves us in these sunken feelings for long. He leaves us long enough for us to realize we don’t have everything under control without Him. What a Great, Loving Father we have. I will trust, love, and honor Him till I take my last breath. I will put my whole being into today, and do just what I finished doing. Make home-made chicken and egg noodles. It’s on my Christmas, gain weight diet, so I took advantage of it. My New Year, lose weight, diet will be coming up soon. I vow to stay on it until all the extra pounds are shed.
I seem to be calling out for something, but not sure what. How can I ask God for something I’m not sure I want? I am convinced that He will not give me something without me asking for it. I have been struggling for years with a feeling of displacement. Yet I don’t know just where I need to be. Many people have told me this is a common feeling for husbands and wife’s who have lost their spouses. But I ask myself why? I can’t even think of living any place but here where I’ve lived for 63 years, yet it seems like I’m through here. On the days when I feel the most confused about this feeling, I have to wonder if my time on earth is near. I am so healthy, and most of the time happy, so why am I dissatisfied with my state of being? I cannot think of one place on earth I’d rather be than here, yet I can’t keep from wandering off into another world, so to speak.
Do I need to change my church after attending it for nearly forty years? Although it’s not the faith I was raised up in, I can’t believe I could ever go back to the fake religion that I left many years ago. I do believe there is a balance between that faith, and the faith that I now am a member of, but I haven’t found it. Is it a fact, and will remain a fact, that church is not what is going to get us to heaven, but the Lord Jesus Christ only will do that? I think one must be content in a church even though it might not be your favorite flavor. The people around you usually will make you feel comfortable if they are true Christians, but some that are not can really rock the boat. I have pretty well resigned to the fact that one does not have to attend church regularly if they cannot fully feel blessed where they attend. Yet that excuse must stand strong testing when the Lord comes to rapture His church. Until better thoughts come to mind, I will accept this philosophy. I know I am in God’s will for now, because He answers my prayers daily.
God Bless
Myrtle Jean Sharp
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